Sep 2, 2014

Am I Doing It Right?

A mother is never sure if she is doing the right thing- whatever she does, she always has a nagging doubt at the back of her mind- I know because I am a mother of two cute, adorable and bright children and this creepy thought manages to cross my mind a zillion number of times every day.

Right from the time a child is born, a mother is also born- she also learns new things and makes new changes as the baby grows. She learns to wake up from deep slumber if the baby lets out the tiniest cry. She learns to cradle the baby to sleep, to massage the baby, to burp the baby, she learns to be half-awake all night and yet carry on her with her chores through the day.

Then she learns to prop the baby with pillows, she learns to cook semi-solid foods for the baby and she learns interesting tricks to make the baby eat all that! She learns to keep the floor spotlessly clean and get sharp objects out of the way when the baby crawls and walks. She learns to understand the needs of her child- when the toddler is hungry, needs to go for poo-poo or wants to play with mamma. She learns to read or narrate her child’s favourite story everyday without getting bored.

As the toddler starts pre-school, she learns to finish all her chores within those few hours and then give undivided attention to her child. With regular school, she learns how to help her child with school projects. And the process carries on as the child keeps growing- every new stage in the child’s life brings new lessons for the mother, too.

I am also on the path to learning new things and teaching some to my children as well. I often wonder, ‘Am I doing it right- staying at home and taking care of the needs of the children instead of going to work in some office and get a fat pay-check and buy them all the games and toys they ask for? (They do see some kids their age with all that expensive stuff, after all- that is why they ask for it.)

Am I doing it right- asking them not to compare with others but be happy with what they have? Am I doing it right- teaching my children to be honest and simple instead of mean and ready to pull anybody down to go up?

When I see my son coming home dejected because someone hurled abuses at him and he can never retaliate, I ask myself ‘should I have taught him to hit back?’ When my daughter comes home from plays-school with bruised knees because someone deliberately pushed her, I ask myself ‘should I have taught her to push the ones who push her?’

But when I recently went to my son’s school for a Parent-Teacher Interaction and his teacher told me ‘what a well-brought up child- so intelligent, so well-mannered and humble’ I found the answer to my question – ‘yes, I might not be the best mom in the world, but I maybe am doing it right!’ I know this feeling is not going to last long- I will be asking myself soon- AM I DOING IT RIGHT?


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